Living my 30's has gotten me thinking. Especially since every phone call I make to my younger siblings has me giving them some kind of advice or other. What would I love to tell my younger self if I could? Mind you, we are talking about a world with a time machine here! Or at the very least, what I wish I'd not had to learn on my own when I was still 18 or even when I turned 20!
So here goes! Dear young me, here are few of the important things I wish someone had told you.
Don't try so hard to bury your feelings. It's alright to be confused and feeling floopy! It's natural and that doesn't make you weak. Own what you feel, that's going to really help you deal with life in your future. Especially when things don't go your way. That reminds me, it's okay to fail and not fitting in with your peers. Maybe you were always meant to dance to your own tunes. Trust me, it's a wonderful spot you end up in!
You absolutely cannot make everyone happy. So, quit trying! 10 years down the road, the people you were trying to please so very hard are most definitely not in your life. The ones who did stick around were those you never had to try so hard for. You're going to make friends with people who are there for the downs in your life much more than your ups. Now, that's quality. And, don't give into the narrative that a woman needs to settle down with a man, kids and a white picket fence house. If it doesn't work for you, don't force it. If it happens, it will but by no means will it define your life or happiness.
Living away from all that's familiar will scare the stuffing our of you. You will want to give up and call it a day a few dozen times over the next decade. But, as hard as it is, stick to it. It'd be the most rewarding journey of your life. The cities you live in, people you meet, relationships that you forge and break will make you stronger than you ever thought possible. You'll love it, all of it.
You needing to always be right will not change. Nor will the overthinking that sometimes will make you physically ill. Well, what can I say, some things really won't change. But over the years, your 'I told you so' have not popped up as much and your perception of perfect has changed. You're more acceptant of flaws in yourself that you are able to accept if not enjoy the flaws in other people now. You become completely content in who you are. That, my younger self, is what the professionals call growth. By no stretch of imagination are you ever going to stop learning, failing, getting back up and growing. Sorry about that. If anyone ever told you that the process of growth will stop, they were lying.
There's beauty in slowing down, Everything doesn't need to be on your accelerated timeline, because its not going to work that way! You are going to have to learn to be more realistic of what you can achieve. You will get where you are meant to be, but it may not when you wanted to get there and that's alright too.
Well, that's all the important stuff - at least for now. Maybe I can tell you what I've learnt in a decade or so!
What do you wish to let your younger self to know?
Always,
M x
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