My Journey to Now

For the longest time, I have chased my dreams. Right from when I was a kid, I believed in my passions. Though to be fair, back then I wanted to be a cop, which didn't pan out. My biggest and most long-standing of passions was being in the fashion industry. That journey has been quite an arduous one. I've always had this incredible fascination for the fashion industry which never waned -- that's how I knew that's where I wanted to be. I started out with what seems like a million sketches when I was in grade school and then started writing about what I felt was fashionable. Now, close to 20 years after the fact, I am exactly where I was meant to be.

The journey, though by no means easy, isn't something I would trade for anything else in the world. I grew up with everything I ever wanted so I never envisioned anything that couldn't go according to my plans. So, when things didn't work out according to my plan for my future there were times I went off the rails. Learning the harder and more worthwhile lessons in life never used to come easy to me. Losing my apartment and then having to accept help from people? Even harder. After a bunch of weeks of sleeping on friends' couches during the last leg of my time in the States, I realised something. Sometimes you can't keep pushing until you get results that work for you. That's when I started believing in the Universe theory my sister is so fond of. Things weren't working for me in the States -- and honestly hadn't been for quite a long while. I'd spent 4 years of non-stop studying and insomnia and hadn't gotten the results in life that I had hoped for. What was a girl to do when things go so awry? She takes a few steps back.

My version of taking a step back was going home. I took a break from everything and went home to refocus. All the anxiety and paranoia travelled alongside me. It's funny how everyone though I was quite a laid-back person when I was a child. As an adult, I was anything but laid-back! I tried figuring out ways to get a job or start a studio of my own when I was in India -- when I was supposed to be taking a break. I remember trying to force things happen when clearly I should have just shifted how I looked at the 'problem'. One day, my brother dragged me to this University Fair and I had an epiphany. I chose to move to UK to pursue my Masters'. And that was the best decision I made. I've always enjoyed the process of education -- especially in fields I am interested in. Honestly, if I could afford to I'd keep earning more educational qualifications (I'm currently at 3!). The change to living in London was like a palate cleanser and opened so many doors for me. I went from not being particular which city in the world I lived in to not wanting to move from London for the foreseeable future!

I'd usually not give any advice, but I have learned a few things over the past decade or so. Primarily, believe in yourself and your dreams or passions. Even with a support system backing you, if you don't trust in your abilities and that you'd make it - life can get harder. I discovered that being your #1 fan does wonders especially on those days everything seems to go south. Secondly, don't let anyone talk down to you. Sure, things don't seem as rosy as in your dreams. But, that means when everything works out, it'd be that much sweeter!

I sincerely hope that there was some kind of takeaway from all that rambling! Let me know if you went through all that when you were chasing your dreams. And if like me, you are still reaching for more and more, I salute you!

Take care.

Cheers!

Madhu x