Over the past few years there's been all kinds of awareness about different kinds of illnesses and problems. There's more talk about the illnesses that we don't usually hear chatter about. One such illness would be PCOS and I live with it. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is basically an endocrine disorder that affects women. 1 in 10 women have this condition. It can be treated but not necessarily cured.
This is my story.
I was diagnosed sometime around the age of 14 or 15. So, I have lived with it and I do have a good life, all things considered. I just wanted to tell people my story because conditions like this are very subjective. It's not 'one size fits all' kind of condition, so it would help someone to hear my version.
I was that girl who would always have really painful period, from the very first time I've had it. When I first discussed it with a friend, she told me that was normal and that every girl has cramps. Then I realized my cycles were pretty long and I'd suffer from mood swings and nausea. I still kept thinking it was normal and I was being dramatic. Until one day, after a few missed period cycles, I realized it wasn't normal. Not by a long shot.
My mum is a doctor. So, I think she knew the diagnosis even before we went in for my ultrasound. When I first heard about the condition, my first reaction was glee because I wouldn't be in pain. Let me remind you I was still quite young and ignorant. The reality hit me much later. I was prescribed Metformin and birth control pills to regulate my period and reset my hormonal imbalance. Thus started the worst period of my life. I was always nauseous. The very smell of anything cooking would turn my stomach over. I'd spend half my day at home in the bathroom or depressed and angry. I think I was on the medications for close to a year and a half before my mum made me stop it. I'd reached the point where I'd rather take the bone-crushing pains than the torture via the medication!
Before all this, I was a thin, even-tempered, happy girl. Almost Disney-like, I think! Needless to say I changed a lot. I put on weight and bloated up, had temper tantrums that'd make a two-year old proud, and cried quite a bit! I was spared the acne but I had a different problem -- Excessive facial hair growth (Hirsutism). That's one thing I still battle with. As a teenager, I was very insecure about it. I remember that I used to get it waxed. Later in college, I started getting laser hair removal. For many people, removal of 'peach fuzz' is for cosmetic reasons. But, for me, it's a psychological thing. The laser treatment makes me feel normal.
The thing about these conditions is that your everyday life will change. I realised the truth of that only as I grew older. I still get mood swings and depression. The very thought of carbs make me fat! My period lasts 10 to 12 days when its regular every month. There have been occasions when I don't get a regular cycle for months. Last year, I went four months without a cycle, and got a period that lasted for 25 days! I remember being tired and weak all through the month then. My immunity isn't all that great, so I do tend to also fall ill easier.
I know all this does seem quite terrible! But, I would like to emphasize I have come to terms with it and live with it. It's not as hard as it seems once you start understanding that it's a part of you and is here to stay. It's a long process -- It did take me close to 10 years to get here! It's about choice as far as I am concerned. I don't eat large quantities of food in one go. I prefer having smaller mini-meals. This makes me control the nausea that still persists to be an issue for me. I stay away from too much carbs but sometimes do indulge in a slice of cake when the craving hits. I've gone gluten-free over the past 2 years, and it does help. Fresh fruits and vegetables also are a necessity! If you eat meat, go lean. If you're blue, be with people you love or get out of the house. Invent a workout of choice. I chose dance -- it occupies my mind and is a way to be a non-boring workout! Making small and meaningful changes has made all the difference for me.
When you first hit this wall, it seems impossible to break it down. But that doesn't mean you can't build a door in it. Or put a ladder against it. Talking to people who've been in your place also helps a lot. Can't find anyone? Talk to me about it then!
Remember, your life does change. But it's not a bad thing necessarily. You can live with it and still do amazingly well. I have.
Take Care.
Cheers!
Madhu x
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