I'm at that extremely strange point in my life where everyone (or almost everyone) in my social circle is married, having kids, getting engaged or pursuing online dating with a single-mindedness. And then there's me -- blissfully unattached and concentrating on my career. In any society, there seem to be certain checkpoints you are mandated to pass through at a given age. But why? That's a question I have been asking almost all of my life!
Especially with the advent of dating apps right on your phone, it's becoming easier and easier to not make much of an effort into actually cultivating a relationship sometimes. I get it, we are all incredibly busy and the old classics don't necessarily work anymore. But, should finding someone special be based on algorithms? Shouldn't there be something more to it? And shouldn't it happen in a more organic manner than just because everyone around you seems to be paired up?
I have probably never gotten on board with the 'finding someone online' bandwagon for myself. Why, you ask me? I've seen some glorious love stories in my 27 years and I feel someone an algorithm would match me up with is just settling, personally. I do realise that there are people -- in fact people I know and love -- who've met their life partners this way! But, there are few things I can be old-fashioned about and this is one of them. Being an artist and a fashion professional, I am extremely invested in the process of how something turns out -- from start to finish. There are some things in life that shouldn't be rushed. Like enjoying a cone of ice-cream in the rain, painting a landscape, or cooking a perfect dish. I think finding that perfect for you relationship shouldn't be rushed too.
I understand the need that some of us might feel to rush into something because of so many different reasons -- trust me, I feel it too. I've had a few (many) disastrous encounters with people who've made me rethink not just the different platforms available to us but also the people who share space with us on those platforms. Bad first dates aren't exactly a new phenomenon. But the incredibly fast sprint from interest to disinterest based on our persona online is akin to a ordering at a drive-thru. That is my issue with the present landscape of meeting people. Rather than speaking through the courses of dinner, we go in with assumptions we've drawn based on who they seem to be online. I have made that mistake. I can bet lots of people have made that mistake about me too. The element of mystery or even magic is lost or at the very least diminished. So, maybe the problem isn't social media or the dating platforms. It's probably that we don't expect anything to be new in the person we meet because we enter the situation with FBI quality research. Maybe we should let the people we meet surprise us a little bit?
I don't think of being single or not rushing into anything that you're not ready for as something lacking in myself. But, more so as knowing what I want and where I am in life currently. It's incredibly empowering to feel this way. My dad always tells me (and anyone who asks those delving questions about me) that things happen when the timing is right and not a second before or after. As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I see the truth in that.
So, do what you feel is best for you now. Be the best "you" that you can be. Fall in love with all that you are and all your dreams. That's on my agenda for every day for this year. Join me, won't you?
Cheers!
Madhu x
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